Stan's Blog

You might have a gambling problem if...

Okay. I admit it. All the signs are there.

I might have a gambling problem.

Business took me to Kansas City this past week, and I was intent on stopping by the local riverboat casinos. So intent, in fact, that it makes you wonder if there is any set of circumstances that could actually keep me from going to a casino when I know one is nearby.

My flight arrived early afternoon, and there were two things that came to mind. First, I didn't have any plans until at least dinner time. Second, there's a casino exactly halfway between the airport and my downtown hotel. What could be easier than just stopping by on my way downtown?

What transpired over the next hour and a half is comical.

I head south in the rental car. Destination: Bank of America. I have a reimbursement check from a prior trip that needs cashing. Luckily, I had been in Kansas City just three months ago and remembered a Bank of America that's on the way.

Obstacle #1: I exit the highway one ramp early and wind up heading west toward Topeka. Three miles later, I turn around and try to get back on track.

Obstacle #2: My return to the proper highway happens to bypass the correct exit for the bank, so I'm forced to head another two miles south and then circle back.

Obstacle #3: Now some 20 minutes off my original pace, I arrive at the Bank of America only to be reminded of a dilemma left unsolved from my previous Kansas City trip. I can't figure out how to access the parking lot to this bank. Can't get there from either of the main roads at this intersection (I know because I tried both roads three months ago, one of which led to the aforementioned four-mile circling to south). Last time I was here, I ended up parking at McDonald's and walking across two parking lots to the bank. This time it was a wind chill of 21 degrees so I didn't want to walk that far. I made two other attempts to access the parking lot - both unsuccessful - before settling on the Long John Silver's parking lot, which was a few paces closer than McDonald's.

Obstacle #4: After walking across the lawn and into the bank, I present the check to the teller, and he wants to confirm my that I'm an account holder before processing. So I fill out paperwork with my information. He runs it. Nothing. I provide my debit card. He runs it. Nothing. Are you getting the sense that perhaps there is a greater force at work here who doesn't think it's a good idea for me to hit the riverboats today?! After consulting with another associate, they cash my check and I'm on my way.

Obstacle #5: As I'm heading south toward the casino, I see a road sign that says to take Exit #3C, even though my Mapquest directions say to take Exit #3B. I remember from last time there's more than one way to get to this casino, so I figure just maybe the road signs were detailing a better route. Incorrect. I take exit #3C as instructed, and even saw another sign stating the casino was 1.5 miles straight ahead. After driving at least three miles straight ahead, I saw neither river nor boat. Not good.

Obstacle #6: I give up on Exit #3C and return to try my original plan with Exit #3B. Of course, I can't do that without backtracking two miles north to get back onto the highway because nothing about this could possibly be simple. So finally I take Exit #3B, only to be greeted by a flashing construction sign that states "Argosy I-635 Exit Closed," which of course is exactly the exit I'm seeking. It then flashed an alternate route, but not in time for me to see what it said.

Obstacle #7: I gamble (pun intended) and take the next exit, seeing that it led to a bridge going over the river. Unfortunately, there was not a detour sign to be found once I arrived on the other side of the river, so I was left to rely on my already rattled navigational instincts. Mercifully, I managed to find my way to the casino only a few moments later, although not until after a drive-through tour of the Owens Corning plant.

In summary, I left the airport around 12:45 PM and didn't arrive to the Argosy Casino until a bit after 2:00 PM. It took me nearly an hour and a half to reach a destination less than 10 miles away.

I've gotta tell you, walking into the casino after enduring all of those obstacles certainly doesn't leave you with much confidence that you're destined to walk in there and win some money.

My swagger was missing, for sure, but not even those crazy circumstances could keep me away from the craps tables.

Indeed, all the signs are there.

posted by Stan W @ 10:05 AM