Stan's Blog

Five things I didn't expect to see...

I just returned from a two-day business trip to Kansas City, and I saw five things that I never thought I’d see. Figured I would take a minute to share them with you:

1. My nipples poking through a windbreaker. Okay, this one takes some explaining. First off, I’m a lousy traveler and didn’t pack a winter coat. Secondly, when I arrived it was 28 degrees with a wind chill of 21. My first stop was Enterprise Rent-A-Car, where the associate led me outside to inspect my vehicle before allowing me to leave. As I stood there watching him check every nook and cranny, I was freezing my fanny. At one point I looked down and noticed I was so cold that I could see my nipples protruding through my golf shirt and light windbreaker. Lovely.

2. Gas prices at $1.39. That’s about 20 cents cheaper than it is here in the DFW area, and about 30 cents cheaper than gas prices when 9/11 occurred, if I remember correctly. Sure didn’t think they’d ever get that low again during my lifetime.

3. Five crap shooters in a row, self included, establishing a point only to “seven out” on the very next roll. I had some time to kill on Wednesday afternoon and stopped by one of the local casinos. For those of you non-craps players, basically you place the majority of your bets once the point is established and you lose all your bets whenever the shooter “sevens out.” So I was forking over money at a record pace during that stretch.

4. Myself using conditioner to shave. I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if I didn’t get all the way up there without my shaving cream. And of course I didn’t realize this until 7:20 AM and I needed to be downstairs by 7:45 AM. After taking a quick inventory of possible substitutes within my hotel room, I settled on the little bottle of conditioner. The lotion was my runner-up choice, while the tiny jar of mustard from the previous night’s room service and the creamer from the coffee bar tied for a distant third.

5. A cosmetologist turned sniper. On the return flight, I sat next to an American soldier who was returning to Fort Hood after her grandfather’s funeral. We visited for much of the flight. Here’s what I learned: She departs for Iraq within the next two weeks, where she’ll serve as the “gunner” in an up-armored Humvee. She’s also training to become a sniper because she’s blessed with a good shot. When I asked her if she went directly into the Army after high school, she replied, “No, I worked as a cosmetologist and massage therapist for a few years.” Alrighty then.

That’s it for now. Stay tuned for two more blogs regarding this Kansas City trip. One detailing my trip to the casino, and the other expanding on my conversation with the soldier.

Be kind to your hairstylist this week. You never know how good their aim might be!

posted by Stan W @ 6:12 PM